If you are in a hurry to get somewhere, but you really don't want to talk to the person walking ahead of you, there are several options:
- Forsake your schedule and pause to tie your shoe (don't worry, no one cares enough about you to notice that those flip flops don't have laces) or execute some other unnecessary task. Give Undesirable No. 1 a little head start, then maintain the 13 feet between you as if they are sacred. Try not to make any sudden movements that would cause this person to turn around and realize the seriousness with which you are avoiding them. In case of such an emergency, look as surprised as you can in front of those accusing eyes and say something like, "Did you get a haircut? Totally didn't recognize you..." Great success.
- (Douche option): Skip all this nonsense and hurry by the person to get to class. Girls, keep your gaze fixed on your gigantic abyss of a purse as if the thing you are searching for inside it will cure cancer. Guys, you're kind of screwed. Tie that shoe.
P.S. If anyone has been reading the Point Weekly, I want you to know that I'll be suing their arses for copyright infringement on that awkward sea lion.
P.P.S. Just kidding, I helped create that bad boy. Hope you enjoy. Oh the tangled web of Loma media...
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