the [awkward] introduction

I was (as usual) running about three minutes late to a philosophy class, and in no particular hurry, when I was struck by divine inspiration.
A fellow Loman, who will remain nameless, was walking about twenty feet behind me. Then ten. Then two and a half. You know where I'm going with this...
This guy was a pro. He needed to pass, to assert, to give me the finger of foot traffic, but he did it like a true artist. Once he got within passing distance, he veered left. Slowly, steadily, politely, he created a space. A space that said, "I'm just taking a little stroll. Oh, are you the sorry loser moving at the speed of a '90s DSL modem? Didn't even see you there!" And he made his move.
As he paralleled me for those dragged out three seconds, it dawned on me: this is awkward.
I continued my walk and endured the strange mix of heart twisties and indigestion that make up the awkward feeling as I watched him escape. And I was all alone.
Well, that's about to change. My friends and I have long been connoisseurs of uncomfortable social situations, and it is high time that these little retarded cousins of daily life be thrown into the forgiving arms of the Internet.

Stay tuned for more of the plethorawkward of college life.